Joy and Mettle

by Jimmy

This weekend continued the destination insemination theme of Tara’s first ovulation cycle. We traveled to Spokane as a group to meet up and get a tour around Tara’s hometown, where by some strange cosmic coincidence Moses has some exciting opportunities for his career.

These destination inseminations are exhausting. There are timing with cycles, late night flights after work, piles of COVID prevention, and the general logistics of getting together as a group that take a lot of attention to solve. Its not as easy as two spouses who live together making a baby. The experience does give us space and time to grow closer as friends though.

Yesterday during our tour, we talked about our coming out experiences. Everyone in our little pod is queer, but we have not all known each other forever. I won’t divulge any details of anyone else’s story, but suffice to say coming out takes some effort, and it wasn’t particularly easy for any of us. For me, I think my coming out to my mother presented the greatest challenge. In one short sentence, “I am gay.” I had dashed her hopes that I would be President of the United States, and that there would be “Little Jimmys” running around. It took time, but true to form love won out, and my mom and I are close again now.

We all went to have dinner with Tara’s parents last night. I felt a bit like I was interviewing for a job I really wanted, spending time talking to Tara’s mom and dad. It was important to me that they buy in and accept our plans and our child, and I needed to do what I could to help that happen. Tara seemed on edge, maybe because of some of the same thoughts, maybe because her relationship with her folks has been more mettle than joy at times. Tara’s brother brought her nephew to dinner as well, and the sheer joy her parents feel around their grandchild permeated the evening.

Ultimately, I feel like we had a nice time. Tara’s mom expressed to me that they were, “so excited about what we are doing.” That expression of joy reflected my mom’s own primary reaction, a lot of excitement about genetic offspring.

Before I ramble too much I will just close. It seems to me that whether it is coming out, or making a baby, being queer takes a little more mettle. Knowing what my life was like 20 years ago in the closet though, I know that living openly and expressing what you actually need from life multiplies the joy and love you find in the world. Here’s to making babies, and all the adventures yet to come!

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